


Secret Truth

by kohakuns



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Character Death, Child Abuse, Gen, Murder, that tag’s not for anyone in the cast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:34:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kohakuns/pseuds/kohakuns
Summary: It’s the day after Kohaku’s tenth birthday, and he wonders how Tsukasa-sama has been doing. The last time they saw each other, the older boy had promised to visit him and celebrate with the “cake” thing he was telling him all about, but he’s been informed that the Suou heir and his parents had gone to a far off country and would not be returning to Japan in the next few weeks.It’s for the best, he thinks, that Tsukasa-sama wasn’t around for his birthday again.-A story about Kohaku through the years.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39





	Secret Truth

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this a few months ago but it was SO difficult so I pretty much gave up and resigned to just keeping this to myself. Double Face was announced eventually though and the event is in a few hours so. You know. I needed to sit down and finish this before the story proves me right or wrong.  
> This is extremely self indulgent but I really just needed to put all my Kohaku headcanons into one long fic.
> 
> Warnings are all on the tin. This whole thing is just Kohaku through the years living with his family so you get where this is going. As for the characters, Tsukasa shows up a lot, Madara and Souma get one scene each, and Aira is mentioned as Kohaku’s internet buddy. Tori is also mentioned a few times when Tsukasa talks about him. Character death refers to some faceless men.
> 
> Some words:  
> Zashikirou - edo period room for confinement, a quick google search will show you the pictures that I used for reference.  
> Engawa - outer corridor of a Japanese house, a little similar to a veranda?  
> Geta - traditional footwear that look like wooden sandals/slippers

Kohaku is absolutely buzzing with excitement.

His mother runs a brush through his long pink hair, the bristles passing through now-tangle free pink locks. He has been sitting here on his knees for a good while now, but his mind is occupied with thoughts of games they can play once the young master arrives. Summer is now in full swing and his sweat makes his clothes stick to his skin uncomfortably, but with the skies clear and the sun shining harshly, he’s sure the grown ups will let him and Tsukasa-sama play outside together for a little bit.

There’s a smile on Kohaku’s lips as his imagination runs wild and he misses the question his mother throws his way. He feels the wooden bristles press against his scalp harshly and he squeaks in pain, straightening his back up.

Mother heaves a sigh and gathers his hair, roughly twisting it into a tight bun at the back of his head. “Don’t you get any funny ideas, boy. You oughta present yourself to the Suous respectably.” Kohaku feels her stick a pin into his hair and it pulls at his roots painfully. He knows better than to react to that and tell her to fix how it’s placed. “You’re not gonna go playin’ around with the young master.”

Kohaku starts to nod, but he catches himself when she stabs another hairpin in. He tells her he understands and he feels her moving away from him to get on her feet.

“Stand up. Let me take a good look at you.”

He rises immediately and she roughly turns him around, giving him an evaluating look from head to toe. Mother adjusts the collar of his _yukata_ and runs her hands down his shoulders and arms, straightening up his sleeves. Kohaku sees her nod to herself and he smiles, happy that she’s satisfied. She tells him to join his sisters outside the house to greet the Suous once they arrive and Kohaku swiftly turns to run out of the room. 

“Don’t run, boy!”

He slows to a brisk walk down the hall, making sure his footsteps don’t make too much noise - he doesn’t want her to get angry at him.

Kohaku is seven years old when Tsukasa-sama visits and tells him he wants to play outside. It’s the young master’s second day staying with them in the estate and their parents are busy discussing business and various complicated things he doesn’t really care for. He knows he should say no, remembers the warning his Mother gave him the day prior, but then, he thinks, shouldn’t he follow Tsukasa-sama’s wishes no matter what? He’s the more powerful one, right? (Powerful, like those characters he sees with guns and suits in the movies he catches his parents watching on TV? Hard to believe with how much bigger Father is than the young master, but they’re always telling him he’s the _most_ important person, so...)

Well, he thinks that should be about right. If Tsukasa-sama wants to go and play, then they _will_ go and play. It doesn’t take much convincing - the other boy only had to ask once and Kohaku was really looking forward to spending time with the redhead again after so long. 

Tsukasa-sama takes his smaller hand in his and pulls him outside, skipping the step from the _engawa_ and into the garden. Kohaku stumbles a little with his _geta_ , the wooden shoes clanking loudly on the stone, but manages to keep his balance. The older boy starts tugging on his hand again, pulling him further away from the house. Tsukasa-sama looks back at him with a smile before turning ahead, and Kohaku takes bigger steps to keep up with his pace. One of the servants watering the plants looks their way and the young master greets the man politely, earning him an enthusiastic response in return. 

Kohaku can feel his eyes following them as they venture deeper into the garden to cross the little bridge and he takes a moment to look back at him. The servant offers him a smile and a friendly little wave and Kohaku smiles back shyly. It’s not often that he gets to interact with the people working in their estate, but he thinks this one must be a nice guy.

The young master slows to a stop and Kohaku stands next to him, taking his hand back - sweaty, gross - and looks up at him in question.

“What do ya want to play, Tsukasa-sama?”

The other boy pouts at the name and crosses his arms. “No, no, no! Kohaku, call me _onii-chan_!”

Kohaku makes a face at that.

“But you’re not my _onii-chan_ , I only have sisters.”

He sees Tsukasa-sama’s brows furrow deeper in frustration at that and he tries to think of a response to quickly appease him. The young master, however, beats him to it.

The redhead crosses his arms across his chest and haughtily declares: “If I want you to call me _onii-chan_ , you will! You’re supposed to listen to me, right?” He’s grinning now, and he takes Kohaku’s hand between his again. “See, _onii-chan_ even made a cute nickname for you! I’ll call you Kohakun from now on!”

Kohakun? He’s not sure about that... He does like the name and he does like Tsukasa-sama, but he tells the young master that his parents probably won’t be too happy about that.

Tsukasa-sama, however, cannot be moved, and assures him that he will make his Father and Mother accept it.

Well, Kohaku thinks, that should be good enough. He nods and flashes his teeth at the other boy, comforted by his words. “What does _onii-chan_ wanna play?”

Tsukasa-sama asks him if he’s familiar with a certain fairytale he’s read and Kohaku shakes his head. The other boy thinks to himself for a moment, before he claps his hands as he starts to tell him of the tale. 

“There’s a princess and a knight rescues her from the evil witch! Kohakun, you’ll be the princess, ok? And I’ll go to rescue you from the bad people.

Now he’s just confused. First of all, he’s not a princess. Second, who are the bad people? He voices his doubts and the young master makes a frustrated sound.

“You’re the princess because you have long hair. And I want to be the knight!”

Huh... Kohaku knows his Father and all his uncles also have long hair, so does that make them princesses, too? Tsukasa-sama is really a confusing one. He doesn’t want to upset him any more though, so he agrees to the role given to him. Kohaku’s not sure what the princess in this story is supposed to do, so he silently observes as the young master walks around the area they’re standing in.

“We can’t start yet, the knight needs to find a sword to use.” The older boy continues his search, staring down at the ground on the hunt for something he could use as a makeshift weapon. Tsukasa-sama makes a pleased sound and Kohaku sees him crouch down to pick up a fallen branch, but as soon as he lifts it up, he drops it again with a loud scream.

Kohaku moves closer to him but the young master quickly runs to his side with tears in his eyes. “S-s-s.. spider!” he stammers out, clutching Kohaku’s arm. He pulls the other boy down to sit on the ground and he wipes his tears away with his sleeve, trying to shush him as much as he could.

Tsukasa-sama’s shout must have alerted some people nearby, because Kohaku hears the sound of heavy footsteps approaching them. Is it the gardener from before? He hopes so. He’s not sure how to comfort the crying boy. He’s never seen his sisters upset before so he’s at a complete loss. 

His relief at getting backup is immediately extinguished when Kohaku feels a big hand wrap around his arm to pull him roughly to his feet away from Tsukasa-sama, and he turns to look and he sees - ah, oh no. It’s his Father. 

The grip on his arm tightens and he winces. 

“What did you do?!” Father shakes him roughly and Kohaku’s blood runs cold. He glances back at the young master and sees his Mother comforting him, stroking his hair as he sobs loudly.

“Nothing, Father! Tsukasa _onii-chan_ he-“

Father repeats the nickname harshly and the man shakes his head, cutting himself off. “You’re unbelievable. You’re in big trouble, boy, taking the young master out here and hurtin’ him...”

“But I didn’t do-“

“Quiet!” 

The boom of his Father’s voice freezes Kohaku in fear and he shuts his mouth immediately with a snap. He’s scared - Father getting angry is never good. The grip on his arm is extremely painful now and Father pulls him harshly, quickly dragging him across the bridge and back towards the house.

Kohaku stumbles and falls, one of his _geta_ flying off his feet. The muscle on his shoulder pulls uncomfortably until his Father stops and releases his arm, letting it fall limply to the ground. There are tears running down his cheeks and he chokes back a sob as he brings up his dirtied hand to wipe them away. Kohaku locks eyes with the servant from earlier as his Father pulls him up by the collar and the man turns away, face hidden under his hat.

He stands and tries to keep up with Father’s long and quick strides, the hand around the collar of his _yukata_ keeping him from falling as he almost trips on his own feet.

———

Kohaku is now eight years old, and he was _really_ looking forward to seeing Tsukasa-sama again, but he thinks he probably won’t be able to spend time with him this year. Kohaku wonders if being on his best behavior would convince his Father to let him out a day or two before the Suous depart, though. He’s been doing his best, but he’s not so sure if it’s enough.

It’s autumn and the garden is painted in yellow and orange. Kohaku was hoping he’d get to spend time with Tsukasa playing in the piles of leaves in secret - that was his plan, and he even worked so hard over the months to gain his parents’ approval in his studies, trying his best to ace all the tests his tutors gave him. A few days ago, however, all his efforts were put to waste after a spar with his sister. Father instructed him not to move and to stand still, told him he had to endure the pain and to take it like a man, but he failed miserably after a hard kick to the stomach made him tear up. 

And he was doing so well, too. He’s ashamed of himself for letting a little pain get to him but he really did try to hold it in. He’ll have to do better next time.

He shivers as the chilly air passes through the wooden grills into the isolation room he’s locked up in behind the house, hidden among the trees, but he clenches his jaw and pulls his knees closer to himself and tries to keep himself as warm as he can. His stomach has been complaining loudly over the lack of food, and hiding his fingers inside his sleeves doesn’t do much to keep them from feeling like ice, but if he sits here patiently enough, surely Father or Mother will deem his punishment as sufficient.

Now, if only either of them would come out to see him being such an obedient child, though.

The sun is beginning to set and Kohaku hears a little commotion going on further out in front of the house. Have the Suous arrived? He thinks of getting to his feet and trying to see if he can catch anything from where he is, but he decides to remain in his spot. If his parents or his sisters see him doing anything aside from taking his punishment like a good boy, all his efforts thus far would go to waste.

Again.

Kohaku puts his chin on his knees and waits.

He’s lost in his thoughts and fails to notice night fall until he hears his name being called out from beyond the bars. The voice comes again, tone between a whisper and a shout, and he lifts his head to see the young master Tsukasa outside, hands on the grills and face pressed against the wood. There’s a smile on his face that grows once Kohaku looks his way and he gestures for the younger boy to come closer.

Kohaku’s body has gone stiff from how long he’s been sitting there, and his knees almost give once he gets to his feet, but he manages to stand back up and approach the red haired boy. He wraps his fingers around the wooden bars and Tsukasa-sama places his warm hands over Kohaku’s colder ones briefly before letting go to sit on the wooden floor. He tells Kohaku to do the same, and the younger boy follows, big eyes looking at Tsukasa-sama in question.

“Kohakun, I brought you something!”

He notices the tray the other boy brought with him as he pulls it closer to himself, taking the bowls of soup and rice to pass them to Kohaku through the spaces between the grills. The hot surface instantly relieves his chilly fingers, but Kohaku hesitates. He’s been trying to be on his best behavior. Wouldn’t this count as going against his parents’ wishes?

Tsukasa-sama gives him a warm smile. “I asked one of the servants for those, don’t worry! Nobody will know!”

That does little to push away his fear of getting caught doing something bad, but Kohaku tells himself that it should be fine if it was at the young master’s will. His stomach grumbles impatiently and he takes a careful sip before beginning to eat in earnest.

“I asked your father if you can come out to spend time with me, but he said Kohakun needs to stay in there... I’m so bored, Kohakun! Nobody wants to talk to me here!”

The redhead’s brows are furrowed and he’s pouting exaggeratedly. It makes Kohaku feel a little guilty for not being able to spend time with him when the older boy was apparently looking forward to the annual Suou visit just as much as him. “I’m sorry, Tsukasa-sama, I-“

He cuts him off with a whine, pouting a little more. 

“Kohaku—n, it’s _onii-chan_ , remember?”

“Ehh, Father wasn’t happy about that name, ya know...”

“He’s not here!”

The apprehensive look on Kohaku’s face must do enough to deter him and the older boy backs off. “Since Kohakun can’t go outside, I’ll stay here with you until you can.”

“It’s cold! Tsukasa-sama should go back to his room.”

The older boy cocks his head to the side, disappointment evident in his tone when he speaks.

“Doesn’t Kohakun want to spend time with me?”

He places the bowl in his hands back on the mat and lifts a hand to wrap his fingers around the wooden bars as he shakes his head. “I do!”

Tsukasa-sama reaches through the spaces to pat his hair gently. There’s a soft smile on his face, and for a moment, Kohaku thinks that’s what an ideal big brother would actually look like. 

“Then _onii-chan_ will keep you company.”

The redhead starts talking about his days in school and moves on to complain about a boy named Tori-kun while Kohaku enthusiastically listens to his stories. Hearing about Tsukasa-sama’s life in the city is always incredibly interesting, though he has to admit he’s a little jealous of the things he gets to do out there. Kohaku thinks he wouldn’t get along with this Tori person since he’s a little mean to Tsukasa-sama, but it would be nice to meet another boy their age and play a bunch of games with more than two participants.

Kohaku stops that train of thought before he gets carried away. He knows better than to be selfish and wish for more when his parents already give him so much.

Tsukasa-sama pulls out a smartphone from his pocket, holding it at an angle that would let Kohaku watch the screen despite the barrier between them, and tells him all about this thing called _idols_ he recently learned about. He says Tori-kun really wants to be one, but he doubts that he’d be any good at it.

“Fine, maybe Tori-kun won’t be too bad,” Tsukasa-sama says. “But I could probably do better.” Kohaku agrees.

On the screen is a dark haired man in a ridiculously sparkly outfit. Kohaku thinks it looks a little silly, but then he started singing and dancing and he’s stunned into silence. He’s never heard a song like that before, nor seen anyone dance around with such movements. The man is practically shining and he can see so many colorful lights around the stage glowing in different colors.

The camera zooms a little closer into the man’s face and Kohaku watches him blow a kiss to the audience. The cheering from the crowd can be heard over the music accompanying him in the background and the man smiles brightly, pushing his dark hair away from his face before continuing his song.

Maybe he’s a little starstruck.

———

Kohaku buries himself a little deeper under the _kotatsu_. Across him is Tsukasa-sama, visiting in the winter for the first time, and he’s wrapped up in several layers of blankets as he pours himself another cup of tea.

He’s telling Kohaku all about his plans for his upcoming eleventh birthday party in two months. He had attended that Tori-kun’s party the week before, and there was a chocolate fountain that Tsukasa-sama wouldn’t stop gushing about to Kohaku. The younger boy is frankly a little lost - he has no idea what a chocolate fountain is even supposed to look like.

He’s never even celebrated his own birthday.

Tsukasa-sama spins the laptop on the table to face him as he sets to look up a photo for Kohaku’s reference. There’s a brief moment of panic on his end when he realizes he left the tab on a forum he’s been frequenting open, but the redhead doesn’t even blink before opening a new one to pull up a quick G*ogle search.

He calms himself down. It should be fine if Tsukasa-sama catches him on that website, what’s he so embarrassed about?

The red haired boy keeps going on about his plans to outshine Tori-kun’s party and Kohaku can’t really relate. There’s a notification on his phone that’s been nagging him for a few minutes now, so he decides to open it up while Tsukasa-sama is distracted.

It’s a message from Rabu-han - _Rabu-chan_ , rather, who he recently started talking to on an idol forum he found online. 

Kohaku’s never seen his online friend’s face. He’s been careful not to reveal any details about himself or his family, too, hiding behind an online handle and a fake alias, but despite only knowing him through a screen of text, he thinks Rabu-han might just be the first friend he’s ever made.

He found himself on the site after Tsukasa-sama introduced him to the concept of idols a while back, clicking on the link after the older boy sent him a video of a duo he decided to look further into. That’s how he came across this Rabu boy - he was _everywhere_ on the forum, gushing about this idol and that idol, writing post after post on their performances and their outfits. Rabu-han frequently attends these shows himself, and he uploads pictures from lives and meet and greets, sometimes posting about “merch exchanges” and the like.

Kohaku replied to one of his posts about the group Tsukasa-sama had shared with him and the rest is history.

Rabu-han has a tendency to spam him a bunch of messages while Kohaku is offline, so he scrolls back to the top of the unread ones. There’s a bunch of links to videos, which he cant open right now with Tsukasa-sama present, and Rabu-han is asking him what he thinks of the songs he sent his way. He tells himself not to forget to watch them later tonight once the lights are out. The rest of the thread is his friend gushing about the idols from said group, and Kohaku laughs a little to himself at the ridiculous kaomojis Rabu-han put in his messages.

There’s a questioning hum from Tsukasa-sama’s end, so Kohaku locks his phone and puts it face down on the _tatami_.

“What do you think of this, Kohakun?”

He spins the laptop towards Kohaku, and he sees a bunch of pictures of something round in various colors and heights. Kohaku asks him what it’s supposed to be, resulting in Tsukasa-sama’s jaw dropping open with a gasp.

“What - it’s... it’s cake!”

He tilts his head a little in question and the other boy leans over the table to grab his shoulders.

“Have you never tried cake before?!”

Kohaku tells him he hasn’t, and the other boy goes on about the wonders of this “cake”, showing him pictures and describing the dessert. He tells him about his favorite flavors, which shop has the best icing, and even compliments the taste of the one served at Tori-kun’s party.

Tsukasa-sama brings him back to the page he had opened with various cake designs and asks him to help him pick which one he should order for his birthday. Kohaku finds it a little hard to choose just one out of all the options. The designs are all very interesting, but he can’t really imagine what it tastes like either. He voices out his concerns, prompting Tsukasa-sama to pose a question.

“How have you never tried it before...? What do they serve on your birthday?”

“Nothin’...?”

“What do you mean nothing? Ice cream? Cookies?”

“Nothin’. We don’t have parties.”

That makes Tsukasa-sama pause.

“You mean... you’ve never had a birthday party before?”

Kohaku says he hasn’t, neither have his sisters, and the young master brings his hands over his mouth in shock. He stumbles on his words a bit, too surprised to even be coherent, until he closes his mouth and reaches for Kohaku’s smaller hands over the table.

Tsukasa-sama nods and smiles at him with conviction. “Next year, I will be sure to come visit you on your birthday so we can celebrate. You will have the nicest party ever and I’ll pick out the best cake for Kohakun!”

He goes on excitedly about plans for Kohaku’s next birthday, making the younger boy feel a little excited despite the fact that there’s still a whole year until then. A day full of sweets and gifts? It sounds absolutely incredible. Kohaku listens to him go with sparkling eyes, imagining how much fun such an event would be as Tsukasa-sama goes on about his ideas for the celebration.

They’re interrupted by his sister sliding open the _shoji_ before greeting the young master then turning to Kohaku.

“Mother’s calling for you.”

He quickly stands and follows after her, leaving Tsukasa-sama alone in the warmth of the room.

———

It’s the day after Kohaku’s tenth birthday, and he wonders how Tsukasa-sama has been doing. The last time they saw each other, the older boy had promised to visit him and celebrate with the “cake” thing he was telling him all about, but he’s been informed that the Suou heir and his parents had gone to a far off country and would not be returning to Japan in the next few weeks.

It’s for the best, he thinks, that Tsukasa-sama wasn’t around for his birthday again this year.

He buries his face deeper into his pillow with a groan, and shifts on his futon in an attempt to get more comfortable. The skin on his back still feels like its on fire, and he wishes he could sleep the pain away a little more, but every time he closes his eyes he sees _him_.

The man’s face was beaten to the point that he was unrecognizable, but the fear in his wide eyes continues to haunt Kohaku. The smell of blood in the room, the man’s weak pleas for mercy, the weight of the gun in his hands - his Mother had handed it to him and helped him hold it steady, the warmth of her body behind him a small comfort. She had fixed the way his fingers were wrapped around the metal, lifting his arms to the right position and placing her hands on his small shoulders to ease the tension.

Aimed directly at the man’s chest, he pulled the trigger the moment his Father barked the order.

The _bang_ that sounded out echoed between the walls and made him wince, but the few seconds of the man wheezing and choking on his own blood resounded in his ears far longer than the single shot. There was so much blood, adding to what has already pooled on the floor where the man was sitting, and the body fell to the side with a wet sound and a thud.

The recoil of the gun made his arms shake to the bone, and Mother moved her hands from his shoulders to take the weapon from his smaller hands. His arms were still frozen in place, and she pushed them down to his sides before holding his cheeks between her palms and turning him to face her. He moves his eyes from the dead man’s body to look into her own lilac ones. 

“Good work, Kohaku.”

A heavy hand was placed on the top of his head and he looked up to see Father smiling down at him.

“I’m proud of you.”

The feeling of ice in his chest grew warm at those words. That was the first time he’s ever heard him say that. He’s never seen his parents look at him with so much pride and joy before in his life, and he looked around to see his sisters and their other relatives smiling and nodding to themselves. 

Father went down to his knees to look him in the eyes, and said: “You’re a real Oukawa now, son.”

His siblings started to file out of the room and Father led him out with a hand on his back.

Mother then told him to follow her for the last part of his official initiation into their family, and she took him into a room where an unfamiliar man sat. She told him that they’ll be giving him the family tattoo, marking him as one of them. Kohaku felt a little excited at that - he’s seen the intricate tattoo of a river of cherry blossoms on Father’s back, and has always looked at it in envy - was that how the rest of his sisters also earned theirs? Is he one of them, now?

He blinked back tears as the artist got to work, the long bamboo needle piercing into his skin for what seemed like an eternity.

Kohaku lifts himself off the futon, carefully moving to sit as he reaches for the laptop plugged into the wall. There’s a few messages waiting for him as he logs into his account, and he impatiently waits for it to load.

**_ Suou Tsukasa: _ ** _ Happy birthday, Kohakun! :D  _ __

**_ Suou Tsukasa:  _ ** _ The time difference is confusing, but I think it’s already the 5th there, so I’m wishing you an amazing day and lots of presents! I’m sorry I missed your birthday again this year :( _

**_ Suou Tsukasa:  _ ** _ I will make sure to bring back a gift you will love. It will be ‘marvelous’! _

__ __

Kohaku smiles to himself and quickly types out a response to thank him, asking him how his trip has been. Tsukasa-sama’s messages have been irregular since his departure, so he makes sure to take advantage of the times he catches him online.

Another notification catches his attention and he clicks on the tab and waits for the bubble to pop up.

@rabu_chan: “ _Happy happy birthday! I wish you a lovee-ly day!_ ( ﾉ◕ヮ◕ ) ﾉ *: ･ﾟ✧ _ ” _

__ __

The sweet greetings take his mind off the piercing pain on his back until he leans forward to push his laptop back under the desk to let it charge. He takes a deep breath before getting to his feet with a wince, straightening up with a huff, before he steps out of his room to face his family for the day.

He’s one of them now, and he’ll be sure not to let them down just yet.

———

It’s summer and the heat is killing him. Kohaku fans himself a little harder as the redhead next to him complains loudly. Tsukasa-sama is sprawled on the floor, completely undignified as he whines about the heat and how bored he is. 

Kohaku thinks he’s not helping himself any, but he keeps his mouth shut lest the Suou boy starts whining about _him_ instead.

The day prior, the Suou family arrived and his Father brought him along to listen into their discussion. Tsukasa-sama had complained endlessly about how he was left alone without any company after Father dismissed him and shifted to persistently question him on what their parents talked about once he noticed that Kohaku was paying no mind to his complaints. Kohaku’s fairly sure the boy should be spared from that kind of information though - he’s thirteen now, Kohaku eleven, but Tsukasa-sama continues to be pure and blind to the dirty work their families get up to.

When he refused to answer and simply turned away, Tsukasa-sama commented on how he’s acting differently, and Kohaku really didn’t know what to say to that.

Maybe becoming a real member of the Oukawas changed him a little bit, but if acting colder and tougher makes Mother happy and keeps Father from punishing him for unsightly behavior, then Tsukasa-sama will have to deal with it.

He’s ripped out of his thoughts when the red haired boy tugs on his sleeve and he looks to his right to find Tsukasa-sama sitting up and getting to his feet.

“Let’s take a walk.”

Kohaku raises a brow at that. “Weren’t you just complaining that it’s too hot?”

“Yes, well, taking a walk and getting some air is better than just sitting here.”

The younger boy remains seated on the wooden floor of the _engawa_ until Tsukasa-sama just steps down to walk into the garden. He looks back at him and says, “If you won’t join me then I’ll be heading out on my own.”

Well. Kohaku stands with a sigh. He guesses he should walk with him if only to make sure he doesn’t get into trouble on his own. 

Tsukasa-sama talks his ear off as they walk under the shade of the trees, and he nods along as the other boy tells him about this play he watched while he was overseas the month prior. He’s started mixing a bunch of English words to his speech and he’s been dressing in these fancy button up shirts and shorts, which makes Kohaku think that he’s not the only one who’s changed between the two of them.

The older boy stops to kneel in front of the koi pond and he catches Tsukasa-sama smiling down into the water. Kohaku feels a little mischievous, despite his better judgment. He dips his fingers into the cold water and flicks the drops towards the other boy’s face. Tsukasa-sama recoils and closes his eyes, making a disgusted expression and a surprised sound. 

“Stop that!”

“You said it was hot, right?”

There’s a new fire in the redhead’s eyes, and he scoops up water to splash it towards Kohaku. 

“Hah! Take that!”

His determination to win this little war makes Kohaku laugh, and he dips his hand in again to gather some water in his palm. The older boy tries to beat him to it, but Tsukasa-sama reaches a little too far and the hand supporting himself on the rocks slips, making him lose his balance and tumble into the water.

There’s a yelp from the redhead and Kohaku tries to grab onto the back of his shirt to pull him back, but Tsukasa-sama’s full weight and his own surprise don’t work to his advantage. Half of his body falls into the pond, dipping his head under the water, and the pink strands that came loose from his bun stick to his face as he sits back up.

The water is shallow enough that the young master manages to rise to the surface, wet palms slipping on the rock as he tries to climb out on his own. Kohaku offers him a hand and pulls him out, the red haired boy coughing and gagging exaggeratedly at the taste of the fishy water in his mouth.

Tsukasa-sama pushes his hair back and gags again. “Gross.” He looks down at himself, pristine white shirt now soaked and dirtied. 

Kohaku clenches his jaw and frowns deeply, guilty of causing the little accident. He looks around to see a couple of their servants watching them and he takes Tsukasa-sama’s hand to pull him back to the house. “Let’s get ya cleaned up.”

They walk back in silence, the squelching of the other boy’s wet socks and shoes loud in Kohaku’s ears. He takes him into the bathroom and grabs a towel, telling him to get cleaned up while Kohaku finds him a change of clothes. The younger boy shakes his head, disappointed at himself for being the one to initiate trouble this time. He just hopes nobody tells on them and that his parents don’t hear about this from the workers. 

He’s helping the Suou boy dry his hair in his room when Father barges in, pulling Kohaku to his feet by the back of his collar and hitting him hard across the face. He loses his balance and falls to his knees, and he can hear Tsukasa-sama shout in surprise and the older boy moves to take a step closer to Kohaku to stand between him and his Father.

Father barks at him to get to his feet, and he drags him out of the room by his hair, telling him how disappointed he is in him the whole way.

That night, he receives a long lecture from his parents on how he won’t be permitted to see Tsukasa-sama again. They tell him that they’re a bad influence on each other, that he should learn how to put himself in his place, and that they expected so much better from him as they lock him up in _zashikirou_. They shut the wooden bars with a slam and walk away, grumbling to themselves over how ashamed they are of his behavior and idiocy.

Kohaku buries his face in his knees.

———

The following summer comes around. Kohaku has been focused on nothing but his studies and the tasks his parents assign to him, and he’s had little to no room for distractions. He secretly keeps in touch with Tsukasa-han behind their backs while he does research for papers his tutors force him to write, but Kohaku has been fully committed to being the perfect son his family always expected him to be.

He’s been working hard to perfect the routine for this performance despite not being the star of the show. Their lead is this boy from the Kanzaki clan, with hair longer than Kohaku’s and eyes as sharp as the blade attached to his hip. He carries himself with a grace and strength that Kohaku could only wish to match, and he’s frankly a little jealous of how _proud_ Souma-han’s parents look when they watch him rehearse on stage.

The Kanzaki boy is tall and wields his sword like he was born to do it, and he masters every routine faster than anyone else performing with them. He knows his lines, speaks them confidently, and sings with a deep voice. His movements have no room for error and he quickly covers Kohaku’s mistakes as they work to perfect the show.

Souma-han speaks in an overly complicated manner and Kohaku’s not particularly fond of how he talks to him, but he’s learned to let it slide over the weeks he’s spent dancing with him and getting to know the other boy better.

The fact that he has never seen a smartphone before in his life probably makes Kohaku feel a little less inferior next to him, too.

They’re taking a break on the last day before the show when Souma-han sits next to him to share a bento. He says his thanks and they eat in silence before he asks him a question.

“Oukawa, what do you think of my performance thus far?”

Kohaku stops himself from making a face at that question. Is this boy trying to fish for compliments? But he looks up at Souma-han and sees his brows furrowing, eyes downcast, and Kohaku takes a sip of tea to buy himself time.

“You’re doin’ great, Souma-han. Why the doubt now?”

The other boy hesitates and Kohaku decides to push on. “You can clearly see how proud your parents are of ya. You’re outperforming the rest of us by a mile.”

“Do you truly- no, I beg to disagree. You move with an unparalleled grace and stealth, and your singing could tame any wild animal into submission.”

Kohaku raises a brow at that comment. “Is that supposed to be a compliment...?” he questions, but he shakes his head with a huffed out laugh and continues. “Whatever. Anyway, what’s got you questionin’ how you’re doing?”

“Have you ever heard of _aidoru_?”

That catches him a little off guard. Yes, he’s definitely heard of them, and his inbox has been spammed with countless of idol videos from Rabu-han and the Suou boy, but that was not something he was expecting from someone who has never even heard of the internet.

“Yeah, what about ‘em?” He’s a little wary now. Maybe his parents have noticed his online exchanges and are asking Souma-han to fish for information? He decides to tread carefully lest that was the case.

“I would like to be one.”

Oh. He... was not expecting that from him.

Souma-han explains how he first came across idols and how their music inspired him, about this school for idols back in Tokyo that he wants to apply for and how he dreams of standing on a brightly lit stage and bringing a smile to the hundreds of people standing around and cheering him on, but he’s worried that something so different from the family norm would upset his parents and the rest of the clan. 

Kohaku listens intently - he knows that feeling, what it’s like to be different from the rest of them. He think the case might vary a little, seeing how he’s his family’s black sheep rather than their golden boy, but he thinks he understands how he feels.

Between the two of them, Kohaku believes if anyone has a shot at following his dreams, it’s Souma-han. There’s no turning back for him, but maybe the other boy can still try to break free from the birdcage.

———

Kohaku is 13, and it’s been a while since he’s seen Mother this angry at him.

She had caught him browsing the internet at an ungodly hour in his room, and no matter how hard he insisted that he was doing some reading, the music coming from the video Tsukasa-han had sent him has him red handed. 

Mother tries to rip the device from him and slaps the back of his hands harshly when he wouldn’t let go. A few clicks and he can already tell by the movement of her eyes and the clenching of her jaw that she’s reading his exchanges with Tsukasa-han. He sees her fingers move on the touchpad as she scrolls further up, and he's pretty sure those next couple of clicks lead her to his message thread with Rabu-han.

Mother shuts the laptop and throws it to the side without a care. Kohaku winces a little at the sound, but a part of him is hoping that it would actually break in half so she wouldn’t be able to dig up any more incriminating evidence against him.

With a fistful of his long hair clutched in her hand, Mother drags him from the room and out into the garden, throwing him to the ground. The rough stones scrape on his palms a little painfully as he tries to catch himself, but he immediately rises to get on his knees and keeps his head down as her voice rises in rage.

His eyes feel a little wet, but he blinks back the tears knowing that showing weakness would somehow make her even angrier.

Mother continues to yell at him - she’s enraged at the fact that he has been keeping in touch with the Suou heir behind their backs and even communicating with this unknown person over the internet. She yanks his hair again and shakes him roughly, making him feel a little dizzy. His breaths have gotten faster without him noticing. He tries to steady himself, but she moves her hand to his jaw to clutch his face and make him look into her eyes.

He chokes back a sob as she curses him and moves to wrap her fingers around his neck, squeezing a little and shaking him again. 

Mother calls him a disappointment, tells him he continues to be unworthy of their family name, and Kohaku thinks that might hurt more than the rocks digging into the skin of his knees and shins.

He can hear Father’s voice as he walks out into the garden to approach them, and his blood runs cold in his veins as Mother moves back and he steps in front of Kohaku.

“Come with me, boy.”

He swiftly gets to his feet and stumbles a little on the stones as he follows him back into the house and into a room far from the sleeping quarters of his sisters. The door slides shut and he looks down at the floor as Father circles around him silently. He knows what’s coming and he braces himself for it.

Father has never pulled his punches with him before. Tonight won’t be any different.

Kohaku has learned to deal with the pain a little better over the years, but he tries his best to keep his eyes off the bruises on his skin as he changes his clothes the next morning. 

———

It’s two days before Kohaku’s 15th birthday when he earns his third kill. 

He knows nothing of who the man was, why his family has him and what they even wanted to get out of him, but Father put a knife in his hands and told him to get results _now._

Kohaku knows better than to fail.

There’s another boy - a man, rather - in the room with him, and he’s terrifyingly huge and there’s an eerie smile on his face that sends a shiver of apprehension up Kohaku’s spine. He speaks in a voice that is completely out of place in this dark room, and he might be throwing Kohaku more off balance rather than their captive who’s almost bleeding out on the floor.

He asks the bloodied man another question and when he doesn’t answer, kicks him in the face.

Kohaku grips the knife a little harder. This asshole is getting in the way of his work and should really just leave this to him. Kohaku tells him so, and he throws his head back and laughs loudly.

“Alright, alright. I’ll leave you to it, Kohaku-san.”

He walks to the door and steps out with a _do your best!_ before it slams shut, and Kohaku moves closer to kneel in front of the man on the floor. He takes a fistful of his damp hair in his hand to lift his head up at an odd angle and points the knife close to his eye.

“So, are ya gonna talk or do you still need a lil’ push?”

Kohaku gets his answers before he slits the man’s throat open, and he wipes off the splatters of blood on his face with the back of his hand. 

He probably shouldn’t have done that, his hand wasn’t very clean at all.

Kohaku is relieved when he exits the room and fails to find the tall man outside and he walks down the halls to find Father and report to him immediately. He hopes he won’t have to work with him again.

———

It’s a month after the third kill when Mother calls Kohaku to discuss what she said to be an important matter, and he straightens his back as he sits in _seiza_ in front of the low table, eyes staring straight into the wall in front of him with not a single muscle twitching. His Mother is late, but he knows they’d expect him to sit still and wait patiently no matter how long they take, so he breathes steady breaths and plants his palms on his thighs.

It’s a little while longer until Father and Mother walk in, and Kohaku greets them respectfully before they sit across him. He’s not sure how to read the room, their faces not betraying anything, and Kohaku quickly runs through his memories to recall if he’s done anything to anger them in the past few months.

It’s Father who breaks the news to him: they have an important task for him, and he’s the only one who fits the job.

He puffs his chest a little bit at that. Finally, after all his efforts, his parents are finally approving of him. He’s now _truly_ worthy of being called Oukawa Kohaku. He listens carefully and nods firmly at his Father’s instructions.

His parents had paid a handsome amount to Cosmic Productions to accept him without question and Mother tells him that he’ll be studying in a school for idols in the city. He makes sure it doesn’t show, but Kohaku feels a little bit of excitement at that - he’s no hardcore idol fan like Rabu-han was, but he’s also more than a little curious. 

Him? An Idol? That’s not a turn he ever saw coming. To be able to live outside this house, on his own away from his family? He’s thrilled to be able to escape and-

_ No. _ What is he thinking? He mentally berates himself for getting carried away. He has a job to do, and he’s not going out there to play around. His duty is to protect the Suou boy and to take down anyone who poses harm to the heir and the clan.

Mother gets to her feet and sits behind him, roughly undoing the bun at the back of his head and brushing her fingers through the long pink locks. He stays still as he feels the cold metal of the scissors in her hand behind his neck, and he almost winces when he feels the blade tug roughly at the strands before they fall off. Mother moves on to the next clump of hair she grasps and cuts the locks off without finesse.

His head feels oddly light when she finishes her work and he stops himself from bringing a hand to touch and feel his hair without permission. He focuses on Father’s words, instructions to pack light and depart in two days, and he nods in understanding. The strands falling to the front of his face are severely uncomfortable, but he keeps his hands on his knees and stops himself from brushing them away.

The day of his departure arrives sooner than Kohaku expected, and he’s standing in the train station in his usual clothes, earning him looks from a few passengers stepping on board. He makes sure to ignore them and to push his shoulders back - Father wouldn’t want him looking so unsightly. He hands Kohaku a leather wallet and pulls him close, giving him what seems to be a warm embrace to the eyes of the people in the crowd. Kohaku stiffens in his Father’s hold as he bends down to whisper in his ear.

“If you disappoint me, I’ll deal with you myself.”

He pats Kohaku on the head before stepping away and walking off without a second glance. Kohaku collects himself, still a little shaken at the words, and heads to the train platform with slow cautious steps.

He knew better than to hope that going to the city would be his chance to be reborn.

**Author's Note:**

> 8k words of me just dumping my Kohaku HCs... if you managed to endure the whole thing I hope you enjoyed the ride. This was really difficult. I think I’ll stick to my usual writing theme from now on hahaha. I had no idea what to use as a damn title either so =EYE= lyrics it is!
> 
> Good luck to everyone playing the event! I still can’t believe Happiele put my top two favorites in a unit together I owe them my life.


End file.
